Home, Sweet Home – Making Our House Into a Home

This last week has been a whirlwind of adjustments.  Many things have come naturally for Jerrad and me.  He automatically assumed the outdoor chores and I took on the inside chores.  I expected adjustments on routines and other everday stuff, but I wasn’t prepared for the exhaustion of caring for another person.  Dont get me wrong, I love him very, very much, but it has been difficult to go from caring about him to caring for him.  No longer is my afternoon routine about coming home, checking my e-mail, watching tv, finding something to eat, and the straightening up here are there.  Instead I find myself worrying about when I’m going to do the laundry, what are we going to have for supper, will I have enough groceries to last us both until payday, what if I don’t get the bathroom cleaned…and the list could go on forever!

And if the adjustment to the mundane hasn’t been strange enough, our quality time has been compromised…by other people!  It seems that now that we’re married, we don’t see each other anymore.  Of course we sleep in the same bed and eat dinner together, but it’s not the same.  The evenings consist of so many errands and the weekends have so many engagements that we stay apart.  Suddenly people have been inviting us to do things individually when we’d rather spend the time together.  I remember my college campus minister, Eric Pratt, warning us of that problem, but I thought it wouldn’t apply to me (like most of his other words of wisdom, I’m finding them to be true).

Last night I had about enough of it all.  I was tired, ill, and couldn’t see any way out.  All I could think about was everything that had to be done and no time.  I even told Jerrad I couldn’t go to church tonight because by the time I cooked supper, got to church, and came home, it would be time for bed and my day would be gone.  As a side note…I am a total perfectionist and a bit of a control freak and I am 100% happy in my marriage.  I just don’t like feeling like I don’t have control of things.

Well, God showed me today who is really in control.  I got up this morning, still feeling a little sorry for myself.  I was driving to work, still frustrated, and hitting every red light on the way here.  I even tried praying.  Suddenly my mood lifted and I began to feel better.  I think my Mama was praying for me this morning.  I know she had to have been, because not long after I got to work, she called to say that she was cooking dinner for us tonight and all I had to do was come by and pick it up!  What a blessing!  It’s strange to me how something so small can be so meaningful and so needed!

Now, if we can just make it through the next two weeks, it will be smooth sailing…at least until something else comes up!